Here at the Majlis we voice our thoughts; worries and concerns .. We resonate our inner self and we chill out as well.. This Majlis is our space to relax even if it seems impossible at times ..
One last thing; you don't need to knock on my doors; IYM does not have closed doors !
Welcome to the Majlis :)

Fresh Air

>> Sunday, May 31, 2009

Fancying some fresh air.. come and join me then :)
This place is for sure my next travel destination.. can't wait..



When he said " NO " to his heart !

>> Saturday, May 30, 2009

And she recognized him the moment he stepped into the restaurant where she was waiting for him " that must be you, it' me.. would you join me please ? " I guess it was just her instincts ! .. All it took was only 10 minutes of an introductory conversation; work; studies; stresses of daily living and the iceberg was broken in no time.. their inner emotions for each other started flowing although they were both trying to hide what was going on deep inside ! Dinner was over, but they were not.. " May I walk you home ? " he said softly to her " Sure you can " .. he didn't want to leave her just like that without smelling more of the flowery aura that keeps surrounding her presence.. and she started becoming conscious of his presence and so she started avoiding eye-contact with him throughout the walk.. she simply did not want him to spot any weakness emanating through her soul.. she got those super expressive eyes as people keep telling her.. and finally she reached her destination; he shook hands with her; warm touch it was.. it just managed to shake her inner being ! He smiled softly to her as he managed to find his path into the crowded inner city..
They both couldn't fall asleep easily that night.. she kept thinking how spontaneous things were with this guy.. open books they were.. he was thinking along the same track.. but he had another burden on his shoulders that next morning is supposed to take care of so he just gave in to his sleepy eyelids.. and it was a different morning for both of them; she cared.. and he cared as well.. she kept calling to check on his nerve-racking matter; and he kept waiting for her soothing phone calls.. and finally life gave him the soul-lifting news he was expecting for the last two years of his life; he was happy; she was happier.. it was such a relief for him; she joined unintentionally his happy moments.. he lived it; she lived it with him second by second.. he was tearful and so she was..
They went out that afternoon; she didn't want him to feel lonely before his flight and he didn't say No to her company.. they just had 90 minutes or so to spend with each other before it was time to say Goodbye.. she felt the pressure of time; he was easing it on her.. the place was another restaurant.. he didn't leave her eyes this time.. he was sincere in everything he was saying.. she was listening.. she didn't feel like doing much talking this time; she just wanted to listen and keep listening.. she enjoyed his company as he did hers.. they were into each other; their moments could not deny this neither they did ! He was showing care and so she was.. then it was time to say Goodbye.. he gave her a warm lasting hug that she didn't want to end and he left but he left his heart in her hands.. only to take it back shortly thereafter ! He wanted her to keep calling and so she did..
They started bonding even though they were thousand miles away from each other.. and the bondage continued.. he became part of her life and she became part of his.. soon he became a priority and so she was to him.. he was supportive; very very indeed.. he was simply there day and night.. Sadly enough, when it was time to confront each other and disclose the undeniable 'love' status he decided to withdraw and he decided to say 'No' to his heart.. she couldn't resist her tears but she tried hard enough to stop the flow so he wouldn't notice it being on the other end of the phone..
What went wrong ? She still cannot figure it out.. he told her how demonized he is with his bad past divorce experience which simply broke his heart badly; he's not healed yet.. and so he decided to say 'NO' to his heart ! He admitted to the undeniable sense of comfort he feels whenever he speaks to her; the feeling that she very much reciprocates with him; however; it looks like all he wants for now is 'comfort' and 'friendly company'.. just for a short period of time maybe.. She also wanted a similar level of comfort and friendly company but maybe for a longer period of time than what he's looking for.. maybe for the rest of her life .. and that's why she's simply sad.. she felt she lost him forever.. she felt rejected.. it's not an empowering feeling for sure to feel 'rejected'.. she still cannot figure out what went wrong.. all she knows is that she still misses him.. he left a huge gap in her moments and days.. Is he enveloped by the same gap as well ? She really does not know any more.. she stop trusting her instincts..
Deep inside, she knows he's the only one capable enough of bringing back a joyful smile to her features again.. he made her heart smile.. how often we encounter people who can make a difference in the way we live and perceive our days ?! She still cannot figure out what went wrong.. she's still confused.. and she is in turmoil..
All she's praying for is that he stops fixating on his horrible past and start appreciating the gifts of today and hope for a better tomorrow.. would life answer her prayers one day ?!
Sad she is..



>> Friday, May 22, 2009

Yes IYM has PASSED her Board Exams !!
What it took was many many years of hard work; suffering; pain; despair; joy; elation and disappointments.. my path was full of ups and downs; I call it magnified waves.. riding the tide sometimes and drifting away by it many many times.. Finally I'm resting on my peaceful shores !
Yes the climb was steep.. but here I am breathing nothing but calm air that is hugging my summit ! I finally blossomed amidst thorns just like those flowers in the image..
I'm happy.. very very happy..
Time to leave my temple; unwind.. clear my mind.. enjoy my moment..celebrate.. and then think of my next challenge in this life..


Knock Knock .. !!

>> Thursday, May 14, 2009

It's a beautiful morning here in Ottawa.. I can't help but get carried away by any semi-stormy weather.. cold breezy winds dancing tango with my windows.. dark clouds romancing with my thoughts.. I'm no where on this Earth but above those comfy stormy clouds; my runaway destination for today !! Above all, knock knock on my heart for it's time for me also to start raining ! Be all ears.. it's your shoulders I need the most !


To Adam and Eve.. With Regards

>> Thursday, May 7, 2009

My dear Eve:

  • Would you please stop being so intrusive.. I love my privacy; as simple as this ! In other words, advises and 'orders' on how I should conduct my personal relationship with Adam is not welcomed by me. Your harsh judgment on him has no ground in reality; if anything it just reflects your paranoid state of mind; your inner insecurities and your failure to live and enjoy relationships yourself. Ups and downs are part of any intimate relationship; so accept this fact or else don't bother me by your destructive 'friendly advices and orders' !
  • The very fact that I accepted being in a relationship to start with, means I'm taking the risk of it not working out at the end.. life is all about risks.. and it's 50-50 chance for any experience after all, right ?! Why are you so bothered by 'my' outcome ?! The way I look at things makes me at comfort and ease with the other gender.. with Adam. This my upbringing so please don't bring yours into my equation! I'm happy that a kind gentleman exists in my life these days when he's needed the most; that's more than enough for me to be thankful to life for ! I don't need to fly with my thoughts to marriage and kids and all the drama that goes through our 'Evy' mind whenever Adam is kind to us. I need Adam as an Adam and not as how your culture or my culture defined him to be ! And I'm getting Adam as an Adam.. I guess this is more than enough to make me content and pleased. I hope you understand.

My dearest Adam:

  • To my culturally-influenced Adam: like it or not; I can't stop caring about you ! Leave it or not; I can't stop caring about you. The spark between us was real; our chemistry was homogeneous and so spontaneous and you know this. It's very unfortunate that you had to put your 'cultural' brake on the beautiful air that started to surround our existence. You made your point of view very clear and I do respect this very much, however; I wonder for how long you'll be able to resist those waves of attraction that had already shaped our shores ?! You still look at me with warmth.. you still surround me with care and warmth; all I know is warmth can't be faked ! I do understand the burdens on your shoulders that you disclosed to me during our emotional confrontation; but hey.. can't you just be honest with yourself and chose what makes YOU happy and care less about what makes others happy ?! I know how determined you are and that's one of the reasons why I got attracted to you in the first place.. it was your inner strength and spontaneous determination.. you were too real to ignore. So my dear Adam, I hope you take few moments to re-evaluate what you want out of this life. I know it's not easy being at cross-roads.. but hey, someone said once when we say No to something it means we're saying Yes to so many other things ! Just give it a thought.. that's all I'm asking !
  • To my 'Culturally-Deviant' Adam ( and deviant doesn't mean 'wrong' for calrification ) : I guess that's what's making you a unique Adam.. being deviant.. just like me ! You keep tickling my sense of femininity and self-confidence.. you keep praising and fueling my inner strength; you keep describing me as a ' Class woman '.. I guess this is your way to keep me enjoy being around you.. the sense of elation that I get out of your belief in me is addictive.. Why would any woman refuse being called ' Class ' ?! My real gentleman; you've done me so many great favors lately simply because you believed in me and in my capabilities.. I cannot thank you enough ! Sometimes I get afraid of loosing my defences and then being addicted to you rather than being addicted to your presence in my life which I'm already enjoying ! Is it fear of love ? Is it fear of stepping forward and out of my boundaries ? Is it not having enough trust in my femininity that is capturing your attention big time as so evident from the way you keep looking at me ? My dear deviant Adam, I hope you're having sweet dreams as I'm typing down my thoughts about you !
  • To my super-impressive Adam: I've been dreaming about such an Adam for ages now ! I met you for 2 hours or so.. and then Oops you just vanished given your work commitments. You got busy with the crowd; and although I just had less than 15 minutes of private chat with you when we met for business before you started disappearing in that crowd; you managed to capture my attention and ignite my curiosity big time ! I kept following you with my mind and my attention while you were socializing with your guests.. I didn't have to have prolonged conversations and chats with you to know what kind of Adam you are.. you were extremely smart; so fluid, transparent and spontaneous; highly confident and extremely respectful ! You managed to turn every one's head in the crowd towards you.. you must be proud of yourself; I'm sure you are ! I was so hopeful to get to know you more on a personal level; not for the sake of love as love usually hits unpredictably, but for the sake of knowing what shaped you the way you are ! However, your time was not yours and neither was mine. It's always more interesting to hear such stories from the person himself rather than hearing a 'modified' version of it from others I guess. And before you left and while taking pictures, I said to you with a sense of humor " I give you my blessing "; smartly enough you replied back by saying " you keep giving me your smile please " ! Now you know why you're on my mind at this very late hour ! This is Eve thinking about Adam ! I wish life would be generous with me and make me hear your version of your story; privately and personally !

Adam and Eve.. and the story keeps revolving, and the story keeps evolving..

Back to my temple.. Good night all ..



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